5
Must Avoid Temptations Married Men and Women Must Avoid
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| Love can drive away negative emotions |
“What makes resisting temptation for many
people difficult is they don’t want to discourage it completely”.
This
quote by American journalist Franklin P. Jones holds true for everyone.
At
times, we are unable to look at temptation in the eye and walk away from it.
It’s fun losing to temptation especially when we look at a beautiful dress and
we are tempted to buy it. Eating at a fancy restaurant is another temptation
which probably very few of us can resist. These are harmless temptations which
can be fulfilled easily and not likely to jeopardize a relationship in the
remotest possible way! Fighting temptation becomes a necessity or rather
mandatory when it comes to certain aspects. In the previous blogs, I had spoken
about temptations one faces in the professional life and temptations faced by
single men and women. I am concluding this series by elucidating few
temptations which married men and women must avoid.
1.
Lies, Lies and more Lies – One lie leads to another. People may
lie for many reasons. The nature of lies and its frequency can vary with the
circumstances and individual. Your spouse may have lied to you with an
intention of hurting you or with an earnest hope to protect you. The reasons
can be endless but the temptation to lie will be strong if there is lack of
trust or understanding in a relationship. Lies will eventually create
irreparable damage in a marriage. Being absolutely truthful about each others
feelings and actions can help your relationship grow stronger and last longer.
It takes time to build a sense of trust and honesty between each other. An unshakable trust is a result of steadfast honesty that has the power to
elevate even a shaky relationship to a stronger plane.
2.
Overindulgence - Retail therapy (read shopping) can be a good
way to beat the stress bug. Disposable income has given us the freedom to spend
without thinking twice. However, overindulgence as far as reckless spending of
money is concerned is a temptation one must avoid. If you want a secure future,
a tight grip or rather a smart grip over your purse strings is necessary. One
of the reasons for marital discord is overindulgence and in most cases it is
related to excess splurging of money. However, immoderation can come in various
forms which include excess TV viewing, smartphone/gadget addiction, gambling,
alcohol consumption etc.- all these are desirable things which may tempt you to
overindulge. If you notice that your spouse is at fault, deal with
him/her in a gentle manner. Your patience and understanding nature can help
your spouse overcome any kind of overindulgence.
3.
Constant Comparison – Why do men often get tempted to compare
their wife’s culinary ability with their mother’s style of cooking? “You have cooked well but not as good as
the way my mother prepares”. Don’t expect your wife to say thank you
to this silly comment. In fact, such a remark is sure to infuriate her and she
may probably develop a dislike for cooking. ‘My boss’ wife is always immaculately
dressed; she has a fine sense of style. You should take some tips from her’.
This comparison is more like an insult or an insinuation about the lack of
fashion sense in your wife. Be tactful and diplomatic if you have to voice your
opinion about your wife’s cooking or dressing style. Never compare. This rule
applies to the wife as well. “Nobody can match up to my dad’s
accomplishments. He is a much more caring husband than you”.
Believe me. I have heard such comments. No two persons are alike. So it’s
futile to search for your dad’s traits in your husband.
4.
To stray – Temptation to go astray or have an affair is probably one of the
most common cause for divorce/separation. Your excuse of becoming vulnerable or
weak in the company of the opposite sex is a lame justification for an immoral
act. If there is a problem in your marital life, discuss with your spouse
instead of falling into the arms of another person. All I can say is - Married
men and women, beware of your emotions, never let it run astray.
5.
Anger – Anger is a lethal emotion if left uncontrolled can lead
to verbal or physical abuse. Challenging or Difficult situation can lead to
frustration or anger. The temptation to speak harshly (in anger) can worsen the
situation instead of improving it. Instead, just walk out of the situation and
ponder for some time. Understand the reasons that made you angry, think about
alternate ways of improving a situation. A calm approach may help you
see things in a new light. In such moments, a caring and loving partner will
come to your rescue. He/she may help you get over the tough times with proper
guidance and reassuring words. If you are both enthusiastic about making the
relationship work, it will be able to heal and come through strong.
Mutual
trust, love, sharing and understanding are the important tenets that make a
marriage work. If these emotions are strong enough, your relationship will
reach a level where there is no scope for lies, deception or cheating.
